Haircuts and Hand Signals

I have never been a part of a support group until now. A couple of months ago, I started going to a Dementia caregiver's support group, and it is so helpful. Today was support group day. My mom came over to keep baby, and offered to stay with MIL if FIL wanted to go. I cannot believe how blessed we are that this type of help just shows up. Other people in the group have talked about how hard it is to coordinate care for their loved ones while they are away. One man in the group told me that it costs him $30 to come to group, and $50 to go to church. He pays home helpers to come look after his wife. At least for now, we don't have to deal with any of that. I'm struck by how rare this is. 

FIL decided to take MIL on a walk today instead of going to the meeting. I hope it was life-giving for him, but I fear that it wasn't quite. When I came home, and after I nursed baby to sleep for nap, I sat down at the table to have lunch with MIL. She is very agitated today. She heard FIL making a phone call and shushed me so that she could listen in. This is a common occurrence, and has become more frequent with the ramping up of her paranoia. "Who are you talking to?!" she asks him after he hangs up the phone. He answers, and she proceeds to tell me right in front of him, "I don't believe that was S., I think it was D. - he's trying to get in on getting fixed up at the place we're traveling to." She's referring to a delusion I wrote about in a previous post - one about a place you go to where you get healed of everything. Sometimes in her delusions, you have to shave your head to go there, but they make it so your hair grows back in the exact same hairstyle you had before, so that way the money you spent on your last haircut isn't wasted. 

On their walk, I guess they saw a neighbor out cutting his hedges. She became a little obsessed at lunch telling me that he gives them hand signals as they walk by to tell them how fast they are walking. One of the troubles with the delusions is that she so aggressively needs others to confirm that they are true. That is, at times, impossible. A man at the support group said that we should just say "ok." when she has a delusion. But MIL knows when we are being disingenuous. She picks up on that quicker than most anything else. 

I've been feeling really worn out recently, and its been hard for me to find the good in what is happening. MIL has been knitting again, so that's a good thing. Anything that she will do independently is helpful at this point. I'm going to try to rest now while baby is sleeping. Wish me luck.